Love is more than a Box of Chocolates
Soon after the ringing in of the new year, stores transform from the green and red of the Christmas season to the pink and heart-shaped Valentine season. Men are told that it is a time of “love.” A time when buying roses, chocolates, or some other gift signifies our love for a significant other. For children, the common tradition is the exchanging of small cards. These cards usually have, “Be Mine,” or “Your My Valentine” or some other type of sentiment. Whether it is the small cards, a dozen red roses, or a special piece of jewelry, the culture works hard to convince that this is a sign of love for another. We hear “love” thrown around everywhere during this season.
When considering the idea of love, it is interesting to see how love is defined culturally versus how it is described spiritually. In many translations of the Bible, the first mention of the word “love” is in Genesis 22. Here Abraham is told to take the child he “loves” and sacrifice him to God. As the story goes, Abraham obeys to the point of raising the knife to sacrifice his son. God sees his faith and provides a ram to sacrifice in place of Isaac, his son. Can you imagine doing that to someone you “love”? This does not sound like chocolate and roses.
Love finds it way throughout our faith. We are told by Jesus that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbors (cf. Matthew 22:37-39). Jesus even tells his disciples (John 13:35) that we would be known as a His follower by how we love. As men in the 21st century, what should love look like? We know what the culture tells us, but how can culture be changed to better reflect the love of Christ? There are many potential examples that could be given, but below are some thoughts for husbands, fathers, and single men. Saying “yes” to the fight for families often begins with simple acts of “love.”
Husbands, we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church (see Ephesians 5:25). We are to nourish her and care for her so that we can present her to the church without spot or blemish. This is, of course, referring to our wives’ spiritual cleanliness. Christ loved the church by sacrificing himself for her good. This means that we must sacrifice our desires for the betterment of our wives. This could include praying with or for her, showing deference to her and her needs, especially her spiritual needs, versus doing what we would like to do. It means showing respect for her in our words and actions. It means giving to her when we do not feel like giving. Showing love to our wives in such a manner is the front-line of the battle for families.
Fathers, we are to love our children, which requires us to raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. St. Paul instructed the Ephesians for us to not provoke our children to anger (Ephesians 6:4). This means that when we correct them, we should do so lovingly and with intent of making them saints. As fathers, the most important task we have is to train the next generation of Christ-followers. We can show them love in many ways. First, how we talk about their mother is an important witness to Christ. Ensuring we are charitable in our conversations teaches them how to love. Second, praying with and for them. Third, encouraging them to engage in acts of love for others will help them to see that we value these actions. It may be simply writing and mailing a note to a family member, helping out with a widow’s yard work, taking out the elderly neighbor’s trash. No matter the act of love, if the children see you, their father, doing these acts, they will follow. Each act of love is a victory in the battle for souls!
Single men, what’s love got to do with it? If we are not married or dating, how are we supposed to show love? There is no limit to what can be done. Ensuring you are showing love to your immediate family would be one place to start. This may be simply a quick call or text to let them know you are thinking of them. Other things could be as simple as holding a door for someone, putting a fellow shopper’s cart away, paying for the drink of the person behind you in the drive-thru, or simply just smiling at passers-by. As a single man, there is still great power in self-giving love. It strengthens the resolve of others because they see this man showing kindness toward others.
Showing true Christian love means to sacrifice self for the betterment of others. Love does not need to be a financially expensive action. Rather, we can show love through prayer, touch, or deed. The primary requirement is that we have willed action that seeks the best for another.
Yes to Action. There are unlimited examples of actions that can show love. Here are a few examples. If there is a need you are aware of that you have been neglecting to meet, tell the person with the need a date you intend to address it. By doing so, you are making yourself accountable to that person. If someone has requested your prayers and you have failed to pray, pray for them today. Follow this up with a text letting them know you were praying for them (or just the praying hands emoji). If you have been too busy to slow down for those who love you, set a 10-, 20-, or 30-minute timer, put away your phone, and be present until the timer goes off.
If you are unsure of what you can do, simply pray, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Dear Lord, I desire to show love to others in order to build Your Kingdom. Inspire me throughout this day to know who is in need of a loving action. Give me the courage to show each person the love You inspire me to show. Allow me the Graces needed to change the culture through small acts of love. May You be glorified through all I do. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”